One of the biggest points of contention in many relationships is what goes on when the other person isn’t around. While many review sites and ask blogs cover the basics of how to handle someone worried over you while you are away at work, or what to do on your own business trips, not may detail how to handle a relationship where she is the one gallivanting around the globe.
Whether this just is not a common situation, or the result of common misconceptions on relationships in general is up for debate. The facts remain that being in a relationship that is much less long distance and much more just a fact of her travelling a whole heck of a lot has a different set of issues to address and different perks as well. Knowing how to handle this gracefully will increase your chances of success in either case.
Never be Negative about Her Want or Need to Travel
That isn’t to say you cannot complain about the lack of having her around at all. What we mean by this is simply that if you spend your whole time together talking about how much you hate her boss for sending her off somewhere, or how much you really dislike that she has to run off to volunteer in far-flung locations you are going to end up looking for dating sites in no time at all. There is a very big difference between simply saying that you miss having her around and that you hate what made her leave in the first place. The first shows that it is actually spending time with her that you really want to do something about and that you want to do something positive about it. The second shows a large amount of a self-centered want for control. Even if she does not seem to take it negatively, you can bet some of her friends will have something to say about it.
The thing is, even if she tells you she has to go somewhere, that may just be because it is easier to blame someone else than to tell you she actually really enjoys the travel. It’s a lot easier to brush of the need to be elsewhere for extended periods on something neither of you have much control over than it is to disagree with someone you want to spend your limited time together and have fun with. For no other reason than keeping the balance of your relationship, she is more likely to avoid conflict on the topic of her travelling. It is probably best that you do as well. After all, if you cannot handle that she is not going to be around at the drop of a hat, you may need to consider looking for dating sites anyway, because this might not work out for you regardless. If, however, you are capable of leaving her to have her own life as well, keeping your disappointed language focused on the fact that you want her here with you will make that clear.
You Will have More Time for Yourself
This is actually a very nice perk of dating someone who is constantly travelling. The thing is, we all have hobbies separate of the person we are dating at any given time. Likewise, we often have friends that we want to hang out with separate of those hobbies and separate of the person we are dating as well. The more time you want to allocate to these things, the more having a travelling girlfriend or spouse can be a really good thing. Basically, it means being able to cycle through binges of the various things that you like at a steady interval. If she is going to be in town for a week, set aside that week for nothing but her. Do things you like to do together. Go all out. Spend a ton of time together. Every reprieve in travelling becomes a mini vacation so really take care of it. When you know you won’t have to keep that sort of pace up all the time, it is easy to devote yourself to it for whatever amount of time she has to spend with you.
On the other hand, when she is gone, you are free to make all the plans you want without ever having to talk with her about it. There is no double checking to make sure she didn’t have anything planned. There is no negotiating dates and times around things she wants to do, or getting a sudden text at the last minute that keeps you from going to poker night for the third straight week in a row. Instead, you may have a few times you scheduled just to keep in touch and otherwise are free. Whether you spend that time lazing about recovering from the last time she was in town, or hanging out with your friends is up to you. The point is simply that it is easier to adjust your schedule around the fact that she is only ever going to be around for perhaps a few weeks at a time and will be gone for long stretches.
They Say Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
While you may not want to take this literally, it is true that the less time we have to devote to someone or something, the more we really want to. Something that can mark the downfall of many relationships can instead be used to shore yours up. In the case of long distance relationships, the problem is mainly that you do not ever expect to see her in person outside of specific trips. It is that you are both living lives entirely separate of one another in a steady day to day existence. When it comes to travelling, this isn’t so much the case. For one thing, you know she is always going to come back. For another, the intervals you are dealing with are much closer together and easier to plan around. Frequent travelers will still be seen multiple times a month, whereas long distance relationships have very infrequent meet ups if any at all over extended time periods.
Due to this, you actually come to appreciate the distance between you rather than abhor it. You can both yearn a bit and pine if in the mood, but overall, the point is that neither of you are really far enough apart to ever stop missing each other. If done right, this can be a scenario with all the perks of long distance, but none of the downsides. If both of you are rather independent to begin with, you can even make it work better than a normal relationship. So never be afraid to date someone who seems to be always on the move. Embrace it, and use it to better you relationship. Who knows, you may even end up somewhere nice yourself.